I crashed my own party as my shadow

I crashed my own party as my shadow is a twelve-minute audiovisual piece made in Berkeley in autumn 2022, shortly after Too Much of a Woman, and it shares that piece’s subject from the other side: not the woman who is too much, but the one who arrives at her own celebration as an absence.

The sound is a party heard from the wrong room — a muffled beat, glasses, laughter, a song I sing that is half audible through the wall — into which a second, closer voice keeps intruding: dry, unaccompanied, speaking and singing fragments in the first person. The two never meet. The image is a doubling: a figure filmed in a lit room and her shadow, filmed separately, composited so that the shadow moves a half-second late, sometimes ahead, and, toward the end, alone.

It is a piece about the particular loneliness of being the guest of honour, and about the part of oneself that watches.